October 12, 2022

782: The Strength of U

October 12, 2022

782: The Strength of U

Transcript

I’m Ada Limón and this is The Slowdown.

I’m interested in how we make our own mythology out of the people and places in our lives. How easily something from our childhood, or someone from our early life, can loom and transform into something almost legendary, biblical. I think of my maternal grandfather, Jack, how I see him in his cowboy hat, always a slight limp from work—he was a man in pain that pretended not to be in pain. His hands were huge and rough to the touch from so much labor as a contractor in the blazing Southern California sun. To me, his shadow still lengthens across the sky—even years after his death. His strong foundations and planks and nails still feel like they are holding up my world in some way. A man who is also a myth now. Real and yet epic in my memory.

Today’s poem explores the idea of mythmaking in a way that expands our idea of who the “you” is in the poem and in our minds.

The Strength of U
by DeShara Suggs-Joe

after Aracelis Girmay

You are:

homeless. bound to the thought of freedom. no grasp dragging
your right hand across the ink. Messy quiet the combination of enough
and not quite. making shadows lights out. ask
for the things you need

You:

Mississippi clay. sweet. hamhock. cursed vegetarian. disowned
by still. say. say who you are and mean nothing. foot
in your mouth. constantchoke. planted. tell me who you are,
again

Y is everything a question about the internal? Eternity and thereafter. sound vibrating against
itself.

O is owwwwww. lowercase wondering. liberation of how big O really is. buy an O
and get inside. circle it with your tongue.

U is deceived. doubled and pleading for more. Use me and say it was good.

am i a fortress? U saw me and lost nothing. U turned away. U forgot my name
and pretended to be grounded in the foundation of U. U is disillusioned–

U love the way we play

come back and act like U need me. stamp my hand. gold star. gold star. gold star?
gold is just metallic yellow and yellow is just. Is this the reason for my arrival?

this is the radiant part. the part that Glistens. i will go inside
the sun and burn off the delicate pieces. U are no longer needed.
thank you. SO. thank you. NO.

leaving is not a departure. it’s calling the maze a straight line

queer space and call it mass. paw paw signed the paper,
jesus comes in many forms.

yes, but when i say i am also him U say no.

i am not angelic. broken cross. oh crucified me. thorns decorate my temple. i cannot hear
U. la la la la la. i cannot hear U. la la la la la.

thank you. thank you. i will bow

i am:

saint of all petty. foot-working on UR fable.

jesus did not die. jesus did not rise.
he hired a stunt double.

i do my own stunts. surprised? i’m a treasure chest. the wizard. less discolored. i speak
in twists. the meaning is the start. the start is at the end. the yellow bricks were too expensive.

i parted my coils down the middle and saw the sea. U wanted to see it all again